Day #2

Thursday:

As of this morning, we were down to 1 contraction every 30 min or so. I also received 1 of 2 steroid shots to help baby's lungs mature faster in the event that Jude does decide to come earlier. No reactions to that shot that I can tell. I have to wait 24 hours before the next one.

Our on call doctor came by to visit and give her recommendations. After my 2nd steroid shot at mid night, I will continue on with the mag sulfate drip. There are still more contractions than she wants to see with me being on the medication. They ordered a followup ultrasound for Friday to measure the length of the cervix again. If it's maintaining it's length, then she'll take me off the mag sulfate. Then they'll monitor me for another 24 hours without the medication before considering a discharge. That puts me home on Saturday at best.

She also noted that once discharged, she's going to prescribe modified bed rest. Which means I'm allowed to get up from a resting position to shower, potty and make a light meal. No picking up Mia, no walking Stoli, no swimming, no laundry, no..... working.

Tomorrow is July 1st which means quarter close starts. I've stressed about it all day. Despite my team and management's insistence that everything will be ok. I spent all night pulling together all my files and documents so that they can at least step in without missing too much of a beat. But I know it will still be tough on them. My lead has technically already transitioned to a new role. So they'll be pulling her back in to do the job that she's been training me the last 3 months to do. One of my peers has been working remotely from South Africa to care for her terminally ill (cancer) mother. We only have but a few other members on our team, but they are all new IBMers from our most recent acquisitions. So the load will fall upon these 2 ladies and my manager. I hate being a burden.

The highlight of my day was this evening when Mark, Mia and Tommy were all here. Surprisingly, Mia was in a fantastic mood! She was totally into playing with all 3 of us and not totally partial to any one. This was great because Mark was exhausted and I have very limited mobility. She ate Chik-fil-a nuggets, fries, pieces of hospital brownie, pudding, grapes and crackers. She played nappy time with the chuk pads and danced around the wood and linoleum floors. She had a generally good time. I was so happy to see her and the boys.

I was pooped when they left, but I had just a few more hours of work left. I neglected returning a few calls because I was too tired. I hope they forgive me. I'll get to all of them tomorrow.

I need to sleep. But I can't. I haven't moved enough today to build up fatigue or exhaustion. I'm just kind of, here. Not tired, not energized, not motivated. Just here. Feeling quite useless. Not certain about the future. I want to disregard their conservative recommendations and get on with life. But I don't want to be wreckless and risk the life of my unborn love. So here I sit. Maybe my outlook will be better in the morning. Maybe things will be just fine when I get home. So this is what it's like to be bored. Finally, I accomplished something on my New Year's resolution.